Jam karet: Why are we so chill about being late?

So here’s something that’s been bugging me for a while.

I grew up in Indonesia, and like many of us, I got used to events nwver starting on time. Family gatherings, meetings, hangouts with friends—there’s almost always a delay. A meeting scheduled for 7 PM? It won’t really start until 7:15 or even 7:30. And somehow, nobody seems too bothered. We even have a name for it: jam karet, or rubber time.

But the more I started noticing this, the more I found myself wondering ‘why?’

Why is this okay for us? Why do we plan something for 10, but then act like 10:10 was the real plan all along? Wouldn’t it be easier to just be honest and schedule it for 10:10 from the start?

I started asking people. Not just to complain, but to genuinely understand how we got here. And the more I listened, the more I realized: this isn’t just about time. It’s about culture, relationships, expectations, and maybe even how we see the world.

Mari kita bahas

From a time perspective: A point or a range?

In some countries, time is treated like a precise point. If a meeting is set for 7:00, that’s when it starts, 7:00, not 7:01. In Japan, a train delayed by 30 seconds can trigger a formal apology.
But in Indonesia? Time is often seen as an approximate direction. “7 PM” usually means “somewhere between 7:15 and whenever people show up.”

This isn’t about laziness or disrespect. People often intend to be on time. But over the years, we’ve built a culture where lateness is tolerated, and even expected. Come on :"

A culture of harmony over punctuality

In many Western cultures, especially in work or business, time is money. Being late is seen as a sign of unprofessionalism or inefficiency. But in Indonesia—and many collectivist cultures—what matters more is social harmony.

Imagine this: you’re running late for a meeting, but on the way, your neighbor asks for help with something. You stop to help because relationships matter. Arriving late might seem “bad” in a schedule sense, but not stopping to help might be worse socially.

The result? We tend to forgive lateness because we value connection over the clock.

The Vicious Cycle of “Everyone’s Late Anyway”

Here’s where things get tricky. Because lateness is normalized, people who try to be on time get frustrated. “Why bother?” they think. And so they, too, start showing up late.
It becomes a self-reinforcing loop: no one’s on time, because no one expects anyone to be on time.

Sometimes, it goes further.

Let me tell you something that happened back when I was a college freshman, masih maba bro, bayangin. There was this event—nothing too fancy, but we were told to come at a specific time. I showed up on time. Others did too. But we waited… and waited… and waited. The event didn’t start for another 15 to 30 minutes.

Why? Because they said, “Kasihan yang telat.”

Now, think about that for a second.
You’re telling me that people who arrived late get extra grace… but those of us who showed up on time just sit there waiting? Who are we not being kind to now?
If we’re talking about fairness, shouldn’t we “kasihan” those who made the effort to be punctual?

And here’s the kicker: I even wrote a short reflection piece about it. Thought it’d be a fun little critique. But instead of sparking discussion, I got “called in” by some senior students. Yeah… let’s just say it was more of a lecture than a chat.

But that experience stuck with me. It made me realize just how deeply this “rubber time” mindset is ingrained—and how even questioning it can feel like a rebellion.

So What Can We Do?

Let’s be honest: shifting an entire culture isn’t easy. But small things help:

• Be realistic with scheduling. If you know things never start on time, either actually start on time, or just set the time 15 minutes later to match reality.
• Value people’s time out loud. Say it: “Hey, I really appreciate you being on time.” Positive reinforcement goes a long way.
• Start anyway. One of the strongest signals that things will change is when events start as scheduled, regardless of who’s there.

Final thoughts, perhaps

“Jam karet” isn’t just about being late, it’s a mirror of how we see time, relationships, and expectations. It tells a story of kindness, flexibility, and sometimes… a bit of chaos.

But maybe, just maybe, valuing each other’s time is a form of respect too.
What if the future version of Indonesia is not just warm and communal, but also right on time?

I don’t know, cuy. Hahahaha